It's been quite a while since I came back in Bulgaria to wait for my 90 days exile to be over. Honestly, that's how it feels like after the visa rules in UAE were changed - an exile. Somehow I was feeling UAE like my place to be.
But this summer - well, actually since February - I had an exciting and enriching experience being in my home country. Working really expands one's life and horizons. I don't regret staying here. I shouldn't regret anything that makes me grow up as a person and gives me precious experience.
I consider myself lucky to have the life I'm having. Sure, nobody's life is perfect, but my life is pretty close to that. For the very simple reason that I'm surrounded by people who love and care about me. This people - family and friends - will never let me fall down. They simply rise me up. Alhamdulillah for that!
The truth is one doesn't need all the money in the world, all the fame and fortune. It's enough to have your own spot in life being with your loved ones.
Many things happened these past months, good and not-so-good. ( I believe saying "bad" is kinda pointless and negative. Let's try to be positive.) Everything that I went through made me stronger and little more cynical.
I had amazing conversation with my dad. Hearing his words almost made me cry. But he was right about everything. Whatever I do is always "too much". Seems I'm not balanced person lol, I'm always in the extreme. Especially when it comes to loving. "Same like your mother."- that's what he said.
Is it scary to realize that you look like your parents? Understanding that one day you'll become them? I accepted that, because there is no other way.
But I want to make my parents proud. To make them the proudest parents in the world. And inshallah one day I'll do it!
Being here now gives me the chance to rethink my life. I don't make plans for the future, I stopped doing that long time ago. I just needed to find my passion for life, get my drive back. Something was missing, I was missing something. I didn't realize though, that fixing myself will cost me my man. It feels like I lost him. I can't shake the feeling that he doesn't love me, the real me. I feel he loves some idea of me, his own perception. And that scares me. I love him too much...
I'm happy I'm getting back on the track of life, I just hope I won't be walking alone.
The Future Is Bright
Neni
But this summer - well, actually since February - I had an exciting and enriching experience being in my home country. Working really expands one's life and horizons. I don't regret staying here. I shouldn't regret anything that makes me grow up as a person and gives me precious experience.
I consider myself lucky to have the life I'm having. Sure, nobody's life is perfect, but my life is pretty close to that. For the very simple reason that I'm surrounded by people who love and care about me. This people - family and friends - will never let me fall down. They simply rise me up. Alhamdulillah for that!
The truth is one doesn't need all the money in the world, all the fame and fortune. It's enough to have your own spot in life being with your loved ones.
Many things happened these past months, good and not-so-good. ( I believe saying "bad" is kinda pointless and negative. Let's try to be positive.) Everything that I went through made me stronger and little more cynical.
I had amazing conversation with my dad. Hearing his words almost made me cry. But he was right about everything. Whatever I do is always "too much". Seems I'm not balanced person lol, I'm always in the extreme. Especially when it comes to loving. "Same like your mother."- that's what he said.
Is it scary to realize that you look like your parents? Understanding that one day you'll become them? I accepted that, because there is no other way.
But I want to make my parents proud. To make them the proudest parents in the world. And inshallah one day I'll do it!
Being here now gives me the chance to rethink my life. I don't make plans for the future, I stopped doing that long time ago. I just needed to find my passion for life, get my drive back. Something was missing, I was missing something. I didn't realize though, that fixing myself will cost me my man. It feels like I lost him. I can't shake the feeling that he doesn't love me, the real me. I feel he loves some idea of me, his own perception. And that scares me. I love him too much...
I'm happy I'm getting back on the track of life, I just hope I won't be walking alone.
The Future Is Bright
Neni
